Twenties- A phase of life in which a person transits from being a teenager to an adult. Going through crisis during this time of life is more than just ‘normal’. This term feels like a joke until and unless you yourself go through it. I never took it seriously, until this wicked little thing knocked my doors, itself. Oh yeah, the notorious Quarter Life Crisis. One day you’re dancing like an animal with your friend and the other day you end up in your bed with the deep thoughts of discontentment with your life. It’s easy falling prey to this crisis, while getting out of it seems to be a challenge to most of us.
This whole little self-help guide will lead you to the other side of the crisis, alive and full of dynamism!
(P.S. All the tips and tricks are purely home-made and guarantees sure shot success.)
1. Stop obsessive comparing behaviors
So you’re in your early twenties and trapped in your quarter life crisis? Comparing is something that brought you into this chaos in the first place. You were checking your Facebook Feed and you saw that your friend got placed in his dream company. You felt pretty not up to snuff and cried yourself like a wee baby. If you can relate to all these stuffs, then first of all things, you need to give up on comparing yourself with others. Basically, when you’re in your twenties, your journey to success has just commenced. Comparing the start of your journey to the middle of someone else’s is just doing fair to yourself. You’ll always end up being disappointed! You have to be more dedicated to your own path and your own pace. Things will fall in place when the right time comes!
2. Talk about it with your closed ones
Even if you’re going through the tough time of your life, you’re not meant to be alone. When the crisis hits, it gets natural to inferior and a complete failure when compared to others. It seems like everyone is blossoming in their respective life, chasing their dreams plus achieving them too, and bagging their dream job, while you assume yourself to be completely lagging behind. However, if you just can keep your ‘assumption’ off the nook for some time and open up about your feeling to your friends you’ll be surprised by the fact they feel the same too! And the mere realization of not being alone brings about great changes in itself.
3. Stop expecting too much from yourself
Expectations are the biggest culprits which suck all the fun out of life. They sometime torture you and coax you to believe that you have not achieved anything in your life. Stop expecting too much from yourself. Refrain from using the terms like ‘I should be married by now, I should have been a great writer by now, I should look thinner, etc.’ Stop bashing yourself using these spooky life goals that you were ‘supposed’ to achieve. Most of the people remain unaware of the fact that they’re already ‘awesome’. You’re awesome! Just believe that you will get through this, because you have purpose, meaning, and motivation. Just get this thing straight that no deadline, no expectation, no limitation can lead you to success.
4. Know yourself
Once you’ve got over your venomous feelings, you need to make a move to know yourself better. It’s really tongue-in-cheek to state that, most of us know our favorite celebrities better than we know ourselves. Dig deeper in your inner self. Digging deeper doesn’t imply completely hinging on for personality tests online. The test results don’t define your personality exactly, it just gives the blueprint about it. Blueprint as in where to start from. You’ve been facing too many problems keeping up relationships with people. Instead of blaming yourself downright, try to figure out what’s wrong with you. Try to bring about a positive change in your temperament.
However, it seems foolish for people in their early twenties sit and daydream about stuff like a teenage school girl. But the fact will surprise you that daydreaming can actually get you the idea about what you really want. While you are daydreaming, you’re picturing yourself happy in a situation. This gives you a clue about what truly makes you happy. You’ll become familiar with your unknown desires which you’ve been hiding even from yourself. Thinking happy things send out positive signals into the universe which in turn attracts happy things. “You become what you think about most. But you also attract what you think about most. (John Assaraf) ”. These lines are quoted in the best-selling self-help book ‘The Secret’ by Rhonda Byrnes. So keep dreaming!
6. Analyze your goals
To be satisfied with your life, it is important to know what you want from your life. We often compare our achievements with others, even when the other person is having a goal which is completely different from what ours is. Everybody is different. Just because something makes a person happy, doesn’t mean that the same thing is destined to bring happiness in your life. So, stop comparing yourself and don’t foster the goals which you don’t really intend to achieve. Keep your focus on the things YOU want!
7. Seek support
While besieged in a crisis, it gets really difficult to get out of the situation on your own. Transform your crisis phase into an opportunity for your closed ones to establish their love for you. Even though you think you can handle the things on your own, but why to do it alone when you have other people to join your cause. When seeking support, it is better to look for someone with more experience of life than you. Listen to them and get meaningful advices. But make sure that the person whom you’re sharing your glitches with, should be of reliable type. You won’t like to worsen your situation by landing into an unnecessary drama!
8. Give yourself a chance
Why so rude to yourself? Don’t you deserve some respite? After all, we all are human. We need a break. We mess things up, create a fuss about trivial things, accidently create more problems for ourselves than before. But we’re human, after all! SO what if you failed? Everyone does! Even if you have committed a lot of mistakes in your past, but the future still lies in your hand. Past belongs in the PAST, let it be there! Instead of digging up old graves, it’s better to look towards the future with a much optimistic perspective.
9. Invest some time in yourself
Money can’t buy happiness, but it can buy Pizza, which is more or less the same thing. Everything in the world has its own cost. Don’t feel ashamed to invest some time and money in yourself. It doesn’t make you selfish. Putting in efforts in order to please yourself, is just like adding fuel to your self-love. Remember, you’re going through this tough time alone? So don’t you deserve to be rewarded for every successful move you make towards your revival? Any investment made towards self-love will pay off later. After all, Charity begins at home!
10. Accept the fact that the crisis is normal
Going through the crisis while being in your twenties is as normal as having cough and cold. Its just that we are too naïve to accept it as a ‘normal’ phase of our life. Even our parents must have gone through the crisis when they were in their twenties. Teleporting to success and stability is something that takes place in movies only. The quarter life crisis is nothing alien, it’s just a phase of intense soul searching and stressing occurring during your 20s. The subject feels inferior as he thinks he’s not being up to the mark and achieving the goals that he must be till then.
11. Have faith in the future
Having faith, while being in the tough times, seems to be the most stereotypical advice that everybody seems to be giving. But clinging tight to faith can actually get us through the rough patches of life. Holding on tight to faith future, while our present is putting us through the abyss, can be guiding light which can lead us to the other end of the tunnel. A person who gives up on hope, opens up the gates to his own decline and becomes the subject of his physical and mental falloff.
12. Don’t just sit and brood over situations
Don’t just sit entrapped within the four walls of your rooms. Open the windows and let the fresh air blow away your entangled hair locks from your face. Grab your jogging shoes and go for a run. Run until your heartbeat paces well with your footsteps. Run, until the thoughts of disappointment finally leaves your head. Instead of wasting your energy in shedding tears, get up and invest in some volunteering. Put away your focus on other people, than on your own life, for some time.
13. Stay positive
Everything that starts always sees an end. Just when you thought that he’s the perfect ‘one’ for you, your relationship saw a nasty end. But you got over it? Right? Just like a silly break-up phase, Quarter life crisis also strikes for a limited period of time. To sum up, Quarter life crisis is named appropriately. More than a ‘crisis’ as it seems to everyone, it’s like a transition. The transition from being dependent to becoming self-dependent.